“All my life You have been faithful. All my life You have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able I will sing of the goodness of God.” — “Goodness of God” Bethel Music
What a humbling fact to know that God is always faithful. It is true; ALL of my life, He has proven Himself to be ever faithful and ever present. Mind if I take these few breaths that I am able and sing of the Goodness of God in the midst of my mouth tumor story?
As I trace the goodness of God in this one instance, I find myself truly going back so far. So many events in my life have prepared me for the journey of my tumor. I was poised and ready to embrace this pleomorphic Adenoma due to all of the circumstances God has brought me to and through. To spare you my entire life story, let me start a few months prior to my surgery.
September/October, 2020
I finally decided after Y E A R S of not going that I would find a new dentist and start going again. I had been experiencing a lot of pain in my teeth, and had always intended on going. But (insert excuses here)... I didn’t. September/October time. I went in for my first consultation, to where I was informed that I had several cavities, some gingivitis, would need my wisdom teeth removed, and would probably need some sort of teeth alignment... Oh yeah! And I had a spongy mass on the roof of my mouth that raised a huge red flag to my dentist. I had known the mass was there, but didn’t think anything of it. For as long as I could remember, the mass was a part of me. It didn’t bother me; I barely even noticed it unless somebody pointed it out to me. In fact, my previous dentist that I saw Y E A R S prior noticed it , but said it wasn’t anything to worry about. (This is such a God thing. I wouldn’t have been quite as ready to face this surgery back when I was seeing my other dentist).
This started a very quick process of me traveling to Westerville for a biopsy (OUCH! Scraping in your mouth.. where you can’t turn away.. they are literally right in your face.. very painful), to Columbus for a consultation, and led eventually to the scheduling of my surgery to remove my tumor, diagnosed as a pleomorphic adenoma.
I can imagine the look on my and Bethany’s face as the doctor explained the surgery to us. I can imagine the look, only because everybody we told after that consultation had the exact same look on their faces, so I can only imagine that Bethany and I looked the same. The doctor was to go in and remove the tumor (That was taking up the entire right side of my mouth). After a CT scan, it was determined that the tumor was attached to my hard palate. The doctor would have to cut out part of my hard palate bone so that the tumor was completely removed. Then, he would perform what is called a “palatal island flap” where he rotates skin from another location in my mouth to cover up the hole he cut in the roof of my mouth. Yeah... we had the same look on our faces when we first heard.
So, how exactly did I see God in all of this so far?
First, God is seen in His perfect timing. I hadn’t been to the dentist in years and suddenly when I feel like I need to go the tumor is found and becomes a priority. Through it all there was a calm. My dentist was calm as she explained it to me; I felt calm as I traveled from doctor to specialist. How cool that I was in a time of my life where I could handle this news.
Second, God is seen in His plans (Isaiah 55:8). I found this out in 2020, in the midst of a global pandemic where rules were very strange. Why couldn’t I have found the tumor in 2019? Or even 2021? Because God’s plans are better than mine and He is to shine and be glorified in my life...even in the midst of COVID-19.
Next, God is seen in His provisions (Jehovah-Jireh). I was certain the stresses at work would be abundant. We were, and are, as already stated, in the middle of a pandemic and substitute teachers were in slim pickings. I was told I would be out for 8 weeks, plus would need 2 weeks prior to my surgery for quarantine. How would we find somebody willing to substitute this year, especially for a MUSIC TEACHER. But, God provided an excellent sub who covered my classes so wonderfully. My principal was so understanding and helpful. Also, with regard to His provisions, can we talk about how God provided me the most incredible person that is my wife? Bethany has been a ROCK through all of this (but there is enough in that for an entire new blog.. stay tuned!)
Finally, God is seen in His Love. The amount of prayers, cards, messages, letters, hugs, and conversations I had once the news was out about my surgery was overwhelming in the most beautiful way possible. The love of God was was shown through the people who had been around me for much of my life, students who I cared so much about, and even those acquaintances I had just recently met. It feels good to be loved, and our Father continues to show His love in so many wonderful ways.
God is good. All the time.
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