Reflections on 2011

2011 was a year of growth.

Yes, I grew physically. I probably added another inch or so to my height, and that's all fine and dandy. But the real growth I am talking about is Spiritually. God completely blew my mind this year, aaand it all started with a very simple prayer.

It was the first day of Camp season. For those of you who don't know, I am a counselor at an amazing church Camp where I spend most of my summers. I count down the days until camp, because it is just a magnificent place... but anyway that's another story on another blog. This has to do with GROWTH, remember?

Anyway, I was driving to this said camp on the first day of Camp season, and as I was driving I decided to say a quick prayer- specifically about the summer, but the entire year was included. I turned my blaring Signature Sound Quartet music down, rolled up my window, and breathed the simplest prayer I could think of, "God, do something BIG in my life this year." Sounds simple enough, right? Kind of a passive prayer- something you obviously strive for anyway....

This prayer turned out to be a portal into the biggest whirlwind of  a summer/year I've ever had. When I told God to do something BIG, He took it, stretched it out, and in return did something HUGE. He made me learn that, despite what I like others to think, I don't alway have everything it takes to get by in the world- I don't know quite as much as I think I do.

Complacency was the word of choice that God put on my heart. It was as if all summer He was telling me  to not become complacent. To not just skate by because you've been a counselor for so many years and fairly know the way things run. Yeah. I knew how Camp worked. I figured "eh. It's my sixth year out here. There's probably nothing new that could come my way. I know what it takes to be a good counselor , and that's what I plan to be. Bring it on, world."

Then the best week of camp in my entire life happened. It was the worst week I could imagine, but the best in the end. God sent several blessed children from a Community Center that works closely with camp to challenge the faces off of us "complacent" counselors. These kids were the kind that stretched you to your limit so quickly you didn't think you could last 4 minutes let alone 4 days. Yet, we still had to persist because, we possibly were showing them the only love they would get (their home lives aren't the greatest). These kids were nothing like I expected at the beginning of the summer. Here I was, this supposed great counselor who knew all the answers and had all the right things to say, completely knocked on my feet. "Don't become complacent. Stop acting like you know what you're doing." said God.

God revealed his plan for my spiritual growth consistently throughout the year. I went on a Chrysalis walk at the end of the summer, and the entire weekend He kept showing me that it's okay to not know everything and not have the answers. It's okay to seek help, because He who does know wants to have a relationship with me. He wants me to fall into His arms and cry to Him because I want to know HIM more and learn more from HIM. Life is constantly changing, even in the aspects which seem to remain still. I never knew my world could be rocked like it was this year at Camp, but God showed me that It was not in my best interest to think I got it all under control-- because, unfortunately. I don't.

And how fitting that the theme of camp this year was Faith? It was as if all year, God was saying "ye of little faith! Do you not think that when you asked me to do something Big in your life I wouldn't cause you to grow as well?" I learned to step out on my faith with God this year, and act for HIS will even if I don't know what I'm doing. But hey, all I need is the faith of a mustard seed, and I can move the mountains.

And so it goes...

"Savior. He can move the mountains. My God is mighty to save. He is mighty to save."